10:47And for some reason, I don't know what, the friendship gradually faded to well....nothing.
She was my Best friend, might as well have been sisters, we practically grew up in each others houses. We'd been through so much together.
But for some reason she just got distant. And that distance grew to the point where we are now, we never see each other, we never talk or text.
When I try to make contact she just doesnt seem interested so I guess I just gave up trying one day.
But you know, I really miss her. We had so much fun, I could talk to her about anything and visa versa. All we did was laugh all the time.
I spose I've been so busy lately that it hasn't crossed my mind in a while.
I just happened across her facebook profile (ugh, facebook) and I realised how much I miss her.
Strange how things go, I mean everyone always said when you finish school nobody stays in contact, but we always said that would never happen to us.
I miss having a wider circle of friends, I hardly see anyone anymore from my school friends.
Guess I feel a bit lonely that way sometimes. I know I moved from my home town, and most of them are still there but its not that far away...
Of course, I live with one of my best friends, and thats awesome. To be honest sometimes it feels like shes the only real friend I have. And vinny of course means the world to me, I can talk to him about anything and he's always there for me to help me and make me smile. And he really does.
Sometimes I don't think he could fathom how much he means to me, it's too much for me to even start to describe. I just know if I didn't have him, I would be so lost right now. He keeps me on safe ground.
As regards my old friends...so much of what they were (and possibly still are) was so fake.
One guy who was like my best friend at one stage has just turned into a complete jerk. I wish I knew why, and a part of me thinks he knows what he's turned into.
It seems a lot of them have the attitude that their too good to hang out with me and the girls and just have fun...again, I couldnt say why.
Perhaps we grew apart for a reason.
All the same, I wish I didn't feel so left out at times.
It sucks.
Devious Comments
I don't have a wide circle of friends anymore either. I slowly lost contact with them, and I feel that maybe it was mostly my doing. I have a habit of withdrawing into a bubble and forgetting other people. I was pretty lonely in the past year too. I have zero friends in Galway and Dublin was just too big and empty. Everyone I loved was always somewhere else, far away.
Vinny means the same thing to me. He keeps me grounded and focused and without him I'd have no one at all. Jess has recently come into the picture and that fleshs things out a bit but... I've also been conscious of the amount of time I spend around her. And that there are other people, like you, who need to spend time with her. And I'm glad Vinny reminded me of that before he left.
What's happening with your friend is kind of mirrored between myself and James. In the last few months I no longer feel like his friend anymore. I don't know what happened. I just feel replaced by weed and his new friends. Even conversation feels awkward. We have nothing in common anymore. He called me a dickhead last night; according to Vi, it's because I don't make the effort to see him. He never seems to be at fault. But there's "draw" there anymore.
People always grow apart and move on after school, I guess. I was lucky with Vin though. Maybe it's a natural thing..
But it still eats away at me:
Should I fight for it or is it the better thing to let it die it's natural death?
--
...eye-candy that rots your brain...
I have always missed her. Now I think that people change and grow up in different manners. Maybe it was not she to go away, maybe it was me who didn't let go of what she was, who was not ready to accept what she was trying to become. Now I am not angry with her anymore, now I am truly sad with myself.
People change as much as the mirror they reflect in, that is us.
Bye!!
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